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I never did look, so I never did question,
Your riddled with guilt and unspoken confessions.
Making the effort to push on mile after mile,
Feeling your knife in my back all the while!
I had always thought that you were a part of me!
Now I can't stand the thought of you and I'll never be sorry.
I still just can't believe I let you happen to me!
The thoughts are so maddening and chip away at my sanity...
When you told me I was nothing time itself seemed to have frozen,
And when it finally thawed I found myself somehow more broken!
The pain is so hard to stop; it keeps coming in stronger waves...
I fell down from the very top and right into my open grave!
And you saved me?! Just to break me again?!?!
Why couldn't you let this go so this could finally end?!
I'm so tired of all the thoughts and all the voices in my head!
I hate the whispered words that should never have been said!
You couldn't have really meant it when you wished that I was dead!

I've fallen to the floor, and I'm coughing
I can't breathe, I can't be any more
Just let me die, lay me down in my coffin
This is me, I'm just broken to the core
Crimson tears are like liquid fire
Raise the flames just a little higher
And I'll burn on top of the pyre
Let me bleed and hush the choir!
What a mess, I'm such a waste
Of peoples time and someones space
And all the problems that I face
Why can't they all just go away?!

All these wounds that I bear will eventually scar
Then new ones will cover where the old ones are
I absolutely hate this is the way it will always be
You think the price I pay to be alive is anything near FREE?!
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NoOneKnowsWhereToGo Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist
I actually feel like this currently. It still amazes me how similiar my feelings are to what you write/probably felt. I honestly think that is why I like you so much. o-o I really appreciate that you wrote this and that I was able to read it. Listening or reading things that are close to how I feel calm me down in a strange way.
Invoking Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It is a strange thing that you feel that way currently. A lot of people do and wont even admit it, so you'realready a step ahead of them. And yes, I did at one point feel those feelings too. So I know exactly what it's like.
NoOneKnowsWhereToGo Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist
I only admit things because of what I've learned from my friend's mistakes. I'm pretty sure I was the only person he told when he was cutting himself (he lives at least a 24 hour drive from my house so it wasn't in person) and around 2 years ago he got caught and had to go to a therapist and just shut down. I don't want to go through that, just the thought of that scares me. If you don't talk to people it gets worse and the more likely you are to kill yourself (proved by experience). I find some comfort when people know how I feel :3 and you are definatly an unthreatening person :D
Invoking Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm real sorry to hear about that... I had to go to therapy for it...

Hmhm~ yeah, I'm pretty unthreatening, alright x3
NoOneKnowsWhereToGo Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist
My mommy told me a long time ago that she didn't care and she wouldn't take me to therapy for it when I was in like 6th grade because she origionally caused me to feel depressed and stuff. Yes, yes you are. I associate you alittle bit with a teddy bear because of how nice and approachable you seem to be and teddy bears don't tell on you or hurt you :3
Invoking Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so sorry ene

A teddy bear~? I do so like teddy bears~ ouo
NoOneKnowsWhereToGo Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist
Yeah and I constantly want to hug you and cuddle wiff you like I used to with teddy bears :3 I talk to animals like they actually understand what I say and pretend they talk back so if you think some stuff sounds weird it's probably because I don't get out much. Anyway, I definatly feel that a teddy bear describes you perfectly :)
Invoking Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, I do that too, actually x3
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Submitted on
June 29, 2012
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