Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconinvoking: More from Invoking


Featured in Collections

written by X3beyondthesunx3

LITERATURES. by thislittleperson

Literature by curlyhair5342


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 24, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,475
Favourites
119 (who?)
Comments
53
×
There’s a tear between each smile and a fracture on my heart
And a thousand feelings breaking me and tearing me apart
Knowing when it’s over I may lose my sanity
Embrace the mess I am and the storm inside of me

In the dark I have a chance to fight away my problems
To ignore them all away instead of trying to solve them

All I saw when I looked back was a mass of insecurity
Laying waste to who I am and ripping at the seam
Lowering my already non-existent self-esteem

And I couldn’t help admitting I’m a self-made failure
Walking a broken path as a second-hand savior
And it all adds up to nothing; me in a nutshell
Yanking on the chain that tethers me to hell…
It's nothing... It's everything...


Add a Comment:
 
:iconvillainouswolf:
villainouswolf Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist
I love this! it's so mesmerizing 
Reply
:iconcrazymai:
CrazyMai Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Student Writer
An wonderful poem ♡
Reply
:iconfameisdead:
Fameisdead Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is an amazing acrostic poem! Great job!
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :meow:
Reply
:icondreamer-of-magic:
Dreamer-of-Magic Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014   General Artist
I love how raw this is. :heart:
Reply
:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aye lad, but things are lookin' up, are they not?
Reply
:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Greetings!

 

Prettyflour here on behalf of :iconpoeticalcondition: with the critique you requested.

 

I am a big fan of this form, and having tried writing in this style, I know how difficult it can be to come up with a successful poem. Having said that, I think you did a wonderful job with this!

 

Your rhyming works well and the flow of the piece is very nice. It was easily readable and understandable.  Also, your poem conjures up some great emotion right from the start. Your first sentence really pulled me in- made me want to keep reading and has awesome imagery. All of this continues throughout the entire poem, and your last line finishes with a sense of finality and yet…your use of ellipses brings of a sense of things left to be said. 

 

Overall, I enjoyed this and have no constructive criticism to offer. Well done!

Reply
:iconk-popper88:
k-popper88 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014
Wow it's amazing
Reply
:iconanninhaxox:
Anninhaxox Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014
This is a great acrostic delivered with raw emotion. Amazing job! :) 
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks~ :meow:
Reply
:iconanninhaxox:
Anninhaxox Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014
You're welcome :) 
Reply
:iconmialily333:
Mialily333 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

this is almost as bad as me

I love the way you wrote it with 'take it all away' down the side

Reply
:iconnykiilynn:
NykiiLynn Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love the last two lines. I love the whole thing, but the last two are my favorite.
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Why, thank you, darlin'. I appreciate that.
Reply
:iconnykiilynn:
NykiiLynn Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Reply
:icondarkosprey2002:
DarkOsprey2002 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Student General Artist

Wow. Describes me perfectly sometimes.

Your DA username is appropriate for this, as it is totally thought-invoking :)

I try to write poetry, but it's never come out as good as this....

Thanks for adding such beautiful pieces of work to DA. 

Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
D'aw thank you~ ouo

It doesn't matter how well you write as long as you can get the thoughts and feelings on paper~ :heart:
Reply
:iconaqureshi1:
Aqureshi1 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
Wow.....this is absolutly gorgeous Senpai!Frozen - HUG! 
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Why, thank you~ ouo
Reply
:iconaqureshi1:
Aqureshi1 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014

You're welcome Senpai! <?xml:namespace prefix = da />excited 

 

 

 Thank you for the llama! Yeah 

Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're so very welcome~ ouo
Reply
:iconlinksgrlcas84:
linksgrlcas84 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
I enjoy this poem immensely. I might not write poems, but I do write fanfiction and draw as a way to deal with my depression and to take all the bad emotions out. I would love to see more of your work and encourage you to write more. I usually don't read poetry, but this caught my eye and I am glad it did. 
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks very much. I really appreciate that and I'm glad you found meaning in the poem :heart:
Reply
:iconcelticflutterbyarts:
CelticFlutterbyArts Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014   General Artist

Invoking, I know that you have no idea who I am, and to some this comment may seem too long or unnecessary, but I'm going to post it anyway.

 

I haven't posted any new photos or poems for a couple years, but I come back from time to time, just to browse and see what dA friends are up to. I always scan the home page to see if anything catches my eye.

 

I have Major Depression, PTSD, and Panic/Anxiety disorder (diagnosed in college, have had since early teens). I stopped doing all the things that meant the most to me, including music, poetry, etc., during the worst years. Most anyone with one or all of these disorders will tell you that one of the worst repurcussions is losing interest in the things you love the most; be it art, friends, family, or the like. I began to write and take photographs again, almost 5 years ago, after a 12 year hiatus. Things were going well, until another major emotional crisis left me sinking into the depths of depression, again. I've had suicidal thoughts, but have NEVER acted on them, thankfully. I haven't been able to write much, if anything, for the last 3 years.

 

I came across your poem, today. I don't know you, or really anything about you, but I felt the need to tell you that your poem made a difference in my life. I always appreciate when someone lets me know when one of my poems or photographs speaks to or helps them. That's simply what I wanted to do, with this comment. You put into words what I've been feeling for several years, but have been unable (or unwilling) to voice.

 

Thank you for sharing this poem, Invoking.

 

~Becca :hug:

Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Strangers are just friends that you haven't met yet. And since I've met you now, you are my friend. I care about my friends.

Most of the people I know have had these disorders themselves or have had experience with most of those disorders you mentioned. I have also suffered through depression, but came back from it stronger. I understand all too well the feelings behind everything you've gone through. I can empathize with you on a scale I wish didn't have to exist.

I know we don't know each other, but that doesn't mean you aren't my friend. It absolutely thrills me to know that I could put a voice to your feelings and you can acknowledge them rather than turn them away. I feel as though I have helped make the world a slightly better place because of it.

You're never alone, especially in your time of need, Becca. Stay strong :heart:
Reply
:iconnooneknowswheretogo:
NoOneKnowsWhereToGo Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist
I really love it and it describes how I feel right now pretty well in the bad way, but I'm still breathing surprisingly. I love you my friend and I would very much like to hug you right now~
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: I would very much like to make you smile somehow. You're one of those amazing people that I know and I want you to be happy because you're too damned adorable to be sad. So :icontardglompplz:

:heart:
Reply
:iconnooneknowswheretogo:
NoOneKnowsWhereToGo Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist
You made me feel a little better for now, you are helpful in a way I can't exactly explain. You are such a nice and amazing person, so I bestow a :) on my face courtesy of you~
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well that just makes me extremely happy ouo :hug:
Reply
:iconthe7cooper:
The7Cooper Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Student Writer
Its the truth that some, if not most, experience at least once, and the unlucky ones (like me) experience many times. Keep it up!
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Life is a tragedy disguised as a comedy.
Reply
:iconxxflamefrost101xx:
XxFlameFrost101xX Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow! Very clever and absolutely true 
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks a bundle, friend!
Reply
:iconxxflamefrost101xx:
XxFlameFrost101xX Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yw :)
Reply
:iconsecret-ninja-super-m:
SECRET-NINJA-SUPER-M Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014   General Artist
Very emotional, and very true.   You okay?
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I'm alright. Just one of those things, ya know?
Reply
:iconsyguy2013:
SyGuy2013 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
At the moment, I AM this poem!
Reply
:iconsyguy2013:
SyGuy2013 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It was a bad thing, but it's all good now!
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Unsure if that's a good or bad thing e-e
Reply
:iconsushisocke:
sushisocke Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
it's nothing.. it's everything... and all we want is to take it away and start anew.
yeah i feel this one, too.
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
We could all use another second chance, huh?
Reply
:iconmorrigan94:
Morrigan94 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
love this!
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks~ :heart:
Reply
:iconjoeyyugioh:
Joeyyugioh Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Student Writer
Impressive.  I loved the Acrostic format you used and the feelings it evokes.  Great piece.

-Joey
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Joey. I must admit, the acrostic made it difficult, but I think it was worth it in the end.
Reply
:iconjoeyyugioh:
Joeyyugioh Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Student Writer
It was worth it, because it is truly what captures the readers attention.
Reply
:iconchinchillaluvr2:
chinchillaluvr2 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014   General Artist
that was amazing it was deep and just wow. im jelly that you can write like that!
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
D'aw thank you very much~ It comes with practice, believe me. You should see some of my old stuff. It's absolutely horrid ene
Reply
:iconchinchillaluvr2:
chinchillaluvr2 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014   General Artist
no prob!^.^ im sure your old stuff cant be that bad! and even if it was you have to start somewhere and at least you have started somewhere lol!
Reply
:iconthisishelll:
thisishelll Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel this one...
Reply
Add a Comment: