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Submitted on
February 24
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There’s a tear between each smile and a fracture on my heart
And a thousand feelings breaking me and tearing me apart
Knowing when it’s over I may lose my sanity
Embrace the mess I am and the storm inside of me

In the dark I have a chance to fight away my problems
To ignore them all away instead of trying to solve them

All I saw when I looked back was a mass of insecurity
Laying waste to who I am and ripping at the seam
Lowering my already non-existent self-esteem

And I couldn’t help admitting I’m a self-made failure
Walking a broken path as a second-hand savior
And it all adds up to nothing; me in a nutshell
Yanking on the chain that tethers me to hell…
It's nothing... It's everything...


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:iconvillainouswolf:
villainouswolf Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist
I love this! it's so mesmerizing 
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:iconcrazymai:
CrazyMai Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Student Writer
An wonderful poem ♡
Reply
:iconfameisdead:
Fameisdead Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is an amazing acrostic poem! Great job!
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :meow:
Reply
:icondreamer-of-magic:
Dreamer-of-Magic Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014   General Artist
I love how raw this is. :heart:
Reply
:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aye lad, but things are lookin' up, are they not?
Reply
:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Greetings!

 

Prettyflour here on behalf of :iconpoeticalcondition: with the critique you requested.

 

I am a big fan of this form, and having tried writing in this style, I know how difficult it can be to come up with a successful poem. Having said that, I think you did a wonderful job with this!

 

Your rhyming works well and the flow of the piece is very nice. It was easily readable and understandable.  Also, your poem conjures up some great emotion right from the start. Your first sentence really pulled me in- made me want to keep reading and has awesome imagery. All of this continues throughout the entire poem, and your last line finishes with a sense of finality and yet…your use of ellipses brings of a sense of things left to be said. 

 

Overall, I enjoyed this and have no constructive criticism to offer. Well done!

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:iconk-popper88:
k-popper88 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014
Wow it's amazing
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:iconanninhaxox:
Anninhaxox Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014
This is a great acrostic delivered with raw emotion. Amazing job! :) 
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:iconinvoking:
Invoking Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks~ :meow:
Reply
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