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Perfection.When you look into the mirror, at your reflection...
That is perfection.
Beautiful.They say I’m beautiful
Because of the way my crystalline heart reflects light off its fractured surface
Well, that isn't a reflection
It’s rejection of the light because it’s all too much to handle
Throw myself away into the dark without even a candle
‘Cause I don’t want to recognize all the pain I’m in
Or realize the truth behind what I am or who I've been
And I tried to make things right but I just keep on making wrong
I never listened to the angel on my shoulder when she called
I count my tears like they’re experience
And my scars like they’re mysterious
And that’s a feeling I’ll remember –
Watching as you left
Watching as you ended what was meant to be forever
And I can see it in their eyes; everyone can empathize
So they say that I’m beautiful because they don’t know what else to say.
But if being broken is beautiful, then it’s the ugliest way...
Take It All Away.There’s a tear between each smile and a fracture on my heart
And a thousand feelings breaking me and tearing me apart
Knowing when it’s over I may lose my sanity
Embrace the mess I am and the storm inside of me
In the dark I have a chance to fight away my problems
To ignore them all away instead of trying to solve them
All I saw when I looked back was a mass of insecurity
Laying waste to who I am and ripping at the seam
Lowering my already non-existent self-esteem
And I couldn’t help admitting I’m a self-made failure
Walking a broken path as a second-hand savior
And it all adds up to nothing; me in a nutshell
Yanking on the chain that tethers me to hell…
Good Guy.You say that what you want is something you will never find
You lay your head on my shoulder and I don’t mind
I breathe in deep and love your scent
And you ask if I knew what you meant
I shake my head and then you sigh
“I just want a good guy.”
Has it ever occurred to you, maybe
Your head is on his shoulder, baby
I don’t want to be your best friend
When I’m with you I feel my heart beat again
Has it ever occurred to you that I
Could be your good guy?
Here you come again with tears in your eyes
‘Cause of something he said, it’s no surprise
You fall into my arms and I let you cry
“Where the hell are all the good guys?”
Has it ever occurred to you, maybe
You’re crying in his arms, baby
I want to be more than your best friend
When I’m with you I have a purpose again
Has it ever occurred to you that I
Could be your good guy?
Frustration.When I’m tired of living because all I do is fight
And cry myself to sleep in the late hours of night
When the thought of giving in is so infinitely sweeter
And pain will always have a way because pain’s a lying cheater
When my only real friend is the pillow I hold tight
And it’s drenched in so many tears I could literally drown
When the ceiling turns to shadow and devours all the light
And I try to force a smile but it comes out a crooked frown
When I gasp for every breath like it’ll make some sort of difference
And my sight is swallowed whole by the darkness in the distance
When the path I chose to walk becomes the path of most resistance
And I struggle with each step just to establish my existence
When the aching doesn’t go away, but it’s all I hold onto
And there’s an impenetrable wall that I plan on breaking through
Diamond In The Rough.Long hair and deep brown eyes so sad but full of hope
Walks over to his side and hands him a love note
Then he points and laughs at her for the feelings she confessed
She feels emptiness as a heartbeat in her chest
At home she’ll water down her pain with broken pride
Trying to fix the girl who fell apart inside
Long hair and deep brown eyes so sad and full of tears
She’s not that different, but can’t fit in with her peers
They all have their looks and brand name clothes
Just because she doesn’t, she’s the girl nobody knows
And this goes out to her; I just hope that it’s enough
To let her know I see the diamond hidden in the rough
The Moment Before.Some days I can’t even get out of bed
So I lay there in the shadows with the voices in my head
And they torment me with memories and things I had to choose
Somehow it ended up no matter what it is I lose
But I put on my best smile and nobody can tell
I’m not as happy as I seem, in fact, I’m doing well
I stare myself down in the mirror and thought I’d at least try
To make it through another day I tell another lie
That’s exactly what I’ll say if anybody asks
I’m alright; I’m okay with living life behind these masks
Nobody has to worry because I’m obviously faking
I’m permanently stuck in the moment before breaking
I’m a pile of emotions all cluttered on the floor
With so much weight attached I can’t hold it anymore
But I’ve learned to live a lie and nobody can tell
That I’m just about to fall apart, In fact, I’m doing well.
The Sufferer.When I’m just about to shine
You’re there to steal my thunder
Bottle up that lightning twice
Pull me down and hold me under
To steal away the moment I’d been waiting for
That I shed blood, wept tears as I was striving forward
Toward the goal that brushed against my fingertips
And erupted in a cloud of dust; I reached for it, but missed
And that catalyst set forth a mental apocalypse
Breaking down the walls I’d set to keep the peace
To keep me far away so you can rise without resistance
To say “I love you” doesn’t mean a thing if it’s only from a distance
In this instance, your persistence paid off
What goes up sure is impressive to everyone down here
I’m glad to see you hover up above us all
And I’ll even look away when you’re just about to fall
My Mind Is A Graveyard And My Body Is A Scar.There’s constantly something wrong with me
I can’t look in the mirror for fear I’ll see
Another part of me that I can’t let be
I want to cut it out of my soul
And just live with the gaping hole
Take control and choose to lose
The part of my heart where the insides bruised
I didn’t fall; I was caught by the lonely, crushing darkness
Of this I’m sure; it was there more than you ever were
I don’t know why the love I need
Is flowing in the blood I bleed
Yes, I’m confused and, yes, I’m a mess
Frustrations magnified by stress
I don’t know why I pushed so far
New cuts cover where the old ones are
My scars are scarred, my heart’s in shards
I’m breaking down like a house of cards
I fell already blind into decimating blackness
And used what I could find of my heart as target practice
Escape My Escape.Hittin' a spliff instead of facing the "if"––
on the edge of a cliff, hiding under killer riffs and intoxicated whiffs––getting stiff.
Chasing a dream, should be leading the scheme, buildin' self-esteem, keeping clean, life isn't what it seems.
You need an escape, you need to relate, you need to keep the faith, without sendin' out hate.
Sometimes shit is too real to accept, gotta take lil steps, one day adept the next inept, time to intercept this feeling and get shit done–– the time has begun, hear the startin' gun, fuck my fears–– I'll chalk it up to NONE. Here's a star that hasn't yet shun, but watch me, son; as I stun the sun––
with this light, I got something quite bright, that'll win this fight with my darkness, as I write––this here, some days I disappear, others I endear, need some consistency; even in my fear. Come on, tell me in my ear, what it is I need to hear, sick of shedding tears, focusing on the ye
My Little FriendI have a friend,
She lives in my head,
She makes me hate myself,
Makes me feel dead.
Is it okay that I love it?
To have a few hidden friends?
I guess we’re just born with it,
We’re together till the end.
Maybe they’re people who passed,
Leaving us behind on this planet,
Trying to warn us of the future,
Throwing us into panic.
I love her though,
She was my first friend,
I won’t let her go.
But only at times,
She can be a real bitch,
saying too many comments,
Making my hand start to twitch.
The human condition of wanting to be everythingI feel as though I am exhausting
The excess skin around
in loose shadows
Across my cheekbones like
And whilst I find myself
To draw open the blinds
Because the light
is too bright
And I really can’t handle
The pane of the sky
With its obnoxious
glaring at me
With such a joyful expression
I know that lately
I am burning myself out
That I consume one too many
Cans of soda and energy drinks
At 2.45 AM
When the rest of the world
Is static in a hushed
Whilst I frantically try
To achieve something
Is too much
Or rather too
An existence for me
So I will continue
In order to
Try and destroy myself
Enough so that
I can be w h o l e
Questioning'How are you?' she asked.
Do not ask me to speak the tales of fools.
Do not think about the streets of wanderers.
It is all a secret, it is all hidden.
Do not reflect on the teller's motif.
Do not care about her trembling world.
It is all an imagination, it is all succumbing.
Be Kind to YourselfBe as kind to yourself
As you are to all else -
Your ego could sure use the lift,
For sadly you find
That much of the time,
Your friends cannot handle the grit.
Be loving and kind,
You don't want to find
That you've let yourself get run down.
Make love to you
As a lover would do,
Especially when help can't be found.
Hang up your cape
And find your escape.
Wear those pajamas you like.
Let down your hair
And lose all your fear.
Go to bed early tonight.
Let yourself know
It's alright to go
Just a bit crazy sometimes.
Soothe the heartbreak,
Forgive your mistakes.
Write out your story in rhyme.
Make love to you
As a lover would do -
Remind yourself of your worth,
For sometimes in life
We watch ourselves die,
But it's never too late for rebirth.
Stop Hurting, PleaseLet me take your burdens upon my own back.
Remove your pack filled with pain
And let it instead stain my face.
Wrap your arms around me in an embrace and watch your emotion
Wash over me like an ocean-leaving me raw
So that the pain that I saw is no longer yours.
Instead it pours down like a stream,
Down my throat where it becomes a scream that goes unheard
So that your pain remains curbed inside me.
I, too, hurt, though I don’t wish you to see so instead I bleed
On paper so that the seed sown doesn’t sprout quite so painfully.
When you smile it fills me wonderfully and I don’t feel quite so ground
By the sounds of sorrow.
Though it hurts me, I’d rather have borrowed suicidal thoughts
So you haven’t bought cuts down your wrists.
It hurts like a cyst to hear you sob
So I daub emotion off the surface of my mind
And grind it into ink just to be able to see how much of a fool I am.
When I write, the ink has burst from its dam and I nearly drown
Either pouring i
Your poetry is amazing. I always find myself nearing tears when I read them, and I've experienced this feeling so many times, because I always tell myself that as long as she's happy, I would be happy as well, but I'm not.
Please keep writing. I turned to reading poetry after my life became bleak, and now I read your poetry regularly
five hour energyi suppose
last week was only an aftershock
of the earthquake you were before.
this place used to vibrate
with metal strings and melodic,
testimonies to life,
emitting coffee-scented moods
and the burn of it too.
i had memorized the
sounds of silence,
i couldn't help but relish it.
no longer had i known
the sounds of folk
and scent of mocha-
you became nothing more
than an echo of the laughter
i so desperately needed to hear again.
then the echoes got louder,
bouncing ferociously off the walls
to be made manifest
i walked into your room
expecting exactly what i found-
an unmade bed,
and an empty beer
(the one that you insisted you needed
just days ago).
i pressed my nose
into the pillow
for incense and cologne and starbucks
to penetrate my mind
and thinking fervently
i already know
what a clean sheet smells like."
how strong an aftershock can be,
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More