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It Isn't Wrong...I used your words to form an apology
Because I didn’t know another way
To make you acknowledge me
But I’m still here, you know
As much as I was a year ago
I’m going in blind and taking shots in the dark
But I’m pulling every word from the bottom of my heart
I’ve had a lot of time to see things straight
You’re someone that I love, that I could never hate
That’s why every time I tried forgetting about you
I couldn’t force myself to do what I had to do
Now I can see your pain, I’m sorry I put you through it
If there was one thing I could change
You know that I would undo it
I don’t want to live, I don’t want to breathe
The reason we’re like this is all because of me
I don’t want you to be yet another closing door
You think I could care less, darling, I couldn’t care more
Take away from this all the evidence you need
I miss you just as much as you say you miss me
I want this forced silence to come to
What I Can't EraseLike the gnarled roots of an old decaying tree
I’m twisted and confused, tired of being me
On the surface I am strong, abrasively calm, and ready
But underneath it all I’m weak, wrong, and unsteady
I shudder at the wind; tell tale of death’s bringer
I feel the chill upon my spine; forever it seems to linger
Now is not the time for cleansing wounds of past battles
Worse is lurking just beyond the howling darkness of the shadows
There isn't much that I can do against an army borne of fear
Every nightmare, all my demons, they’re all assembled here
They’re everything that I’m ashamed to say is part of me
The ugly truth behind my eyes no one should ever see
And if I held my ground would it be too much to face?
Or should I just ignore what I know I can’t erase?
Love Me.She falls asleep most every night
To the sound of her parents pointless fight
And clinging tightly to her tear soaked pillow
She goes to school most every day
Wishing she could run away
From all those who torture her
For not being ‘cool’
Her mother, she just plain ignores her
Her father’s never even there
Who would notice if she were gone?
Who would even care?
She just wants to make it quick
To take this razor as her friend
And feel its tender loving kiss
Pressed against her paper skin
She just wants to make it stop
The feeling lonely, sad and hated
She holds the blade up to eye level
I don’t know how long she waited
She presses hard against her skin
And lines of ink bleed from the pen
The blade, it rests there on her knee
On her arm she wrote
AlmostThis place brings back so many memories
Each one reminding me what I had
Sometimes, I can’t stand it and I fall to my knees
I can’t believe I had perfection…
And I just let it slip away.
I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know what you’d say
You were my best friend, my everything
You were a part of me and I let you get away
So much for meaning every word that you say…
I wish I could tell you how right you were
I should’ve treated you better and been more mature
But you opened my eyes though it hurt me sometimes
To see how much we were falling apart…
Neither one of us tried; I wish you didn’t just leave
It kills me not knowing what I should feel
Or what to believe
But you probably won’t see this, not this time
And you’ll never know how much this has torn me apart…
Let Them In.With my back to the door
I can’t help but fall to the floor
Out of breath, out of time
Out of sight, out of my mind
They’re tempting me; they lead astray
They mark my words; I am their prey
I can’t fight them anymore
So let them in and end this war
Leave me to my demons
Let them have at me
And strip me of my reasons
To ever be happy
I am broken enough
So that they fit in the cracks
I never wanted to be this
But now there’s no turning back
Let them take control
Because without you in my life
This is how a person like myself
Can ever become whole.
Just One KissI hate that there will always be
A lingering regret
An ache set so deep inside me
I cannot forget
I turned away as my thoughts strayed
“What chances have I missed?”
I don’t want one more regret
To add among the list
I need to know what could’ve been
What could become of this
I’ll take my chances, no regrets
For just one kiss…
Between what I feel and I say
Is what I don’t understand
You say it’s better this way
This is not what I had planned
I watched as you just walked away
“What chances have I missed?”
I’ll add just one more regret
To the top of the list
I need to know if you can see
There was something more to this
I’ll take my chances, no regrets
For just one kiss…
To taste your kiss…
Just one kiss…
Awareness.She writes such lovely poems
But nobody really cares
She hides them all the time
To avoid the judging stares
She wrote one yesterday
About a boy who said he loved her
But to her own dismay
She caught him with another
She wrote one about school
And the words painted on her locker
“No one likes you, stupid bitch.
You’re lucky I’m at soccer.”
She wrote about her parents
And how she wished they were together
But she knows that won’t ever happen
And forgetting’s probably better
Yes, she writes such lovely poems
But there’s so much more to this
See, her pencil is a razor
And the paper is her wrist.
What I Meant.*Accidentally bumps into you*
-What I said-
Oh, I’m so sorry..!
-What I meant-
I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand
Cause even though I do the very best that I can
I can’t face this world alone
There’s too much I don’t understand
*Accidentally holds your hand*
-What I said-
Is everything alright?
-What I meant-
What should I do if I can’t tell between
The reality of life or if it’s just a dream?
I can tell the world is real enough
It’s just not as pretty as it seems
*Accidentally hugs you*
-What I said-
Are you okay?
-What I meant-
I guess I never wanted to believe
That something I helped create
That I thought was more than beautiful
Could be so capable of hate
*Accidentally kisses you*
-What I meant to say instead-
So prove me wrong
And say it’s not too late
Or too bad, or no good and that
There’s still room for one more clean slate
Because another se
WHAT IS WAS NOTPeople are people,
And will always be people.
So why blame people,
For being people?
Truth is truth,
And will always be truth.
If truth becomes false,
Then it cannot be true.
A word is a word,
And will always be a word.
To edit the word,
It ceases to be that word
Wisdom is wisdom,
Because it is wise.
If wisdom becomes unwise,
Then the stupid are wise.
The absolute is absolute
And has always been absolute
If it can be questioned
It is not absolute.
Love is love
And will always be love
If it was but is not,
Then it was not.
Won't Give InI'm getting weak,
can't find the light.
Too tired to try,
Too tired to fight.
I want to give in,
let my grip slip,
start the fall,
let myself trip.
But I can't let go.
I need to stay here.
Despite all the hardships,
despite all my fear.
I'll keep going.
I won't give in.
Though I feel like dying,
though my chances are grim.
So say hello to me,
this act I put on,
till my time comes,
till God says I'm done.
Confession about me Silent StrengthI am strong, but please never confuse this strength with invulnerability.
I do hurt.
I do cry.
I do love.
I do feel.
I do get crushed.
I do regret.
But please never think that while I may never show these things in front of you, that I don’t feel them.
Because I do.
More than you could ever imagine.
I’m a hyper sensitive person, forced into a role of strength.
It is just a rare occasion when my reserve breaks and I show it in front of people.
And when this happens, I reach a state of such openness and vulnerability that I fear.
Because I can withstand a thousand blows, but just one word can cut me down. And at that moment, I fear what could be said to me.
I’m very sorry if anyone who see this thinks of me as cold, or heartless, or unfeeling.
It's just in my life, I have had people who rely on me to be the strong one who keeps a level head and calm emotions.
And so when I break in front of someone, I apologize profusely.
Because what if they were someone that needed me
Let Me Be MeSick and tired,
All these voices.
All that noise,
All these choices.
My mind is racing,
My thoughts are loud.
Sitting in the open,
With a large crowd.
Why won't they leave?
Just leave me alone.
Just let me go,
I'll leave my throne.
I'll stay in a shell,
I'll keep quiet.
I won't be who I'm not,
I won't even try it.
People think I'm cool,
When I'm really not.
I'm that unstable guy,
With all the crazy thoughts.
Don't tell me who I am,
Don't tell me who to be.
I make my choices,
Let me be me.
What Happened?I used to think make up
Made people ugly.
Now I think I'm ugly without it.
I used to think people
Always loved me.
Now I think everyone hates me.
I used to think everybody
Was my best friend.
Now I think no one truly is.
I used to think
Boys were icky!
Now I wish I had one.
What happened to being
You Think You're LuckyYou think you're lucky.
So happy to have me.
But I don't understand,
What it is you see.
You're so smart,
And funny and sweet.
Compliments and smiles
Every time we meet.
Don't you see I'm crazy.
Parts I can't control.
You'll never have my heart,
At least not in full.
I've already hurt you.
It won't be the last.
If I were you I'd leave.
Run away fast.
Why aren't you leaving?
I just don't get
That look in your eye.
Why you feel this way,
I don't understand.
But I'll make sure to keep it
Anyway I can.
This is for the UnderdogYou know what it's like,
When your feet touch the bottom.
You wish you were like others,
But you know that you can never be.
The glam and the glitz,
The sound of a thousand people cheering you on.
That's not for you,
That's never going to be for you!
But you know what,
You've got something else inside of you.
You've got something else,
That no one who sits on a lofty throne could ever have.
And that's pain...
You're in pain, because you know this is bitter.
You're in pain, because you've been denied something better.
But you take that dose of bitterness
And you swallow it like it's god-damn medicine!
Because the king expects you the crumble,
The king expects you to lie down and surrender.
So play dead if you have to,
But when you rise again...
Make sure you tear out their god-damn throat!
I (don't) want to be aloneI want to be alone
So no one can hear me screaming
So I can bleed out my pain
So I don't have to hide the problems
And the wounds
I want to stay here alone
Fighting my inner demons
With no help
Nobody to feel my pain
Nobody to fight for me
I want you to leave me alone
So you won't get caugh
In my spiral of darkness
And self destruction
Please (don't) leave me alone...
( 4/04/2014 )Everything here is so fucking
loud and this dragon eyed girl
doesn’t feel like filtering
She doesn’t want to answer
the phone today, either, so-
she stuffs her ears with
her mouth with new
as she kisses
socks now too
their mixed &
Real ladies wouldn’t
dare step outside
wearing one pink
& one green sock,
but she’s no lady.-
A red lipped hermit
holding a knife to her
own throat, screaming-
the sun and
the rain on her face
for the first time
Oh poets with your
pretty words and
this is what true
Locked and LoadedI am broken. I’m a waste.
Tell me something I don’t know
Say it to my face
You think you know me better
‘Cause of things you don’t remember
You’re trying to make me hurt
My self-esteem’s in the dirt
Pick out all my flaws and laugh at every one
I’m just a stubborn kid with a loaded gun
In the middle of the desert
Taking shots at the sun
But my body is the M16
My mouth is the trigger
My lungs; the magazine
And if you can’t already see
I’m about ready
To go on a killing spree
If you can’t shut up long enough
To hear what I have to say
Then I’m locked and loaded
Have a nice day.
Transformers: We Came in WarTransformers: We Came in War
Setting: Sometime during the Bay films
Characters: Optimus Prime
We came to this planet because ours was gone.
The quest for power consumed our home. The need for domination destroyed us. Still we live, and yet there is a piece in each of us that has been decimated forever. We will never recover what we have lost.
I look down upon this planet, and I wonder why we try.
It is evident by now that we have lost the capacity for peace. War follows in our wake. We came to retrieve the AllSpark, which has long since been lost, and we are still here. All that came of attempting to revive our planet was the relocation of the war from our planet of death to this planet of life. There is so much life on this planet. All of it we have sworn to protect. This is the promise we have made to them. But the promise would not need to have been made if we had never co
AndromedaAmongst the darkened skies
Brightened by only starlight
Field & Sea.
Gravity is only an afterthought
Hilltops become ladders into the sky while
Inferior planets stare down upon the Earth
Jealous of such simplicity yet contemplating grandeur.
Keppler only thought of science
Linear, elliptical, movement…
Mythology had no such thoughts
Neptune & Nebulas both inhabit space
Orbiting across the lonely darkness
Probably never worried about mundane things
Questioning their existence
Right now or for all eternity such as us.
Shooting stars make us joyful while
Terminator is an otherworldly spectacle
Unknown to all those hidden in their houses
Various stars await us outside
Waiting to play like we did before
Xenagogue & inviting
Youthful but ancient curiosities.
Zenith induced euphoria continues until daylight…
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More