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The Sufferer.When I’m just about to shine
You’re there to steal my thunder
Bottle up that lightning twice
Pull me down and hold me under
To steal away the moment I’d been waiting for
That I shed blood, wept tears as I was striving forward
Toward the goal that brushed against my fingertips
And erupted in a cloud of dust; I reached for it, but missed
And that catalyst set forth a mental apocalypse
Breaking down the walls I’d set to keep the peace
To keep me far away so you can rise without resistance
To say “I love you” doesn’t mean a thing if it’s only from a distance
In this instance, your persistence paid off
What goes up sure is impressive to everyone down here
I’m glad to see you hover up above us all
And I’ll even look away when you’re just about to fall
Frustration.When I’m tired of living because all I do is fight
And cry myself to sleep in the late hours of night
When the thought of giving in is so infinitely sweeter
And pain will always have a way because pain’s a lying cheater
When my only real friend is the pillow I hold tight
And it’s drenched in so many tears I could literally drown
When the ceiling turns to shadow and devours all the light
And I try to force a smile but it comes out a crooked frown
When I gasp for every breath like it’ll make some sort of difference
And my sight is swallowed whole by the darkness in the distance
When the path I chose to walk becomes the path of most resistance
And I struggle with each step just to establish my existence
When the aching doesn’t go away, but it’s all I hold onto
And there’s an impenetrable wall that I plan on breaking through
My Mind Is A Graveyard And My Body Is A Scar.There’s constantly something wrong with me
I can’t look in the mirror for fear I’ll see
Another part of me that I can’t let be
I want to cut it out of my soul
And just live with the gaping hole
Take control and choose to lose
The part of my heart where the insides bruised
I didn’t fall; I was caught by the lonely, crushing darkness
Of this I’m sure; it was there more than you ever were
I don’t know why the love I need
Is flowing in the blood I bleed
Yes, I’m confused and, yes, I’m a mess
Frustrations magnified by stress
I don’t know why I pushed so far
New cuts cover where the old ones are
My scars are scarred, my heart’s in shards
I’m breaking down like a house of cards
I fell already blind into decimating blackness
And used what I could find of my heart as target practice
Take It All Away.There’s a tear between each smile and a fracture on my heart
And a thousand feelings breaking me and tearing me apart
Knowing when it’s over I may lose my sanity
Embrace the mess I am and the storm inside of me
In the dark I have a chance to fight away my problems
To ignore them all away instead of trying to solve them
All I saw when I looked back was a mass of insecurity
Laying waste to who I am and ripping at the seam
Lowering my already non-existent self-esteem
And I couldn’t help admitting I’m a self-made failure
Walking a broken path as a second-hand savior
And it all adds up to nothing; me in a nutshell
Yanking on the chain that tethers me to hell…
Love Me.She falls asleep most every night
To the sound of her parents pointless fight
And clinging tightly to her tear soaked pillow
She goes to school most every day
Wishing she could run away
From all those who torture her
For not being ‘cool’
Her mother, she just plain ignores her
Her father’s never even there
Who would notice if she were gone?
Who would even care?
She just wants to make it quick
To take this razor as her friend
And feel its tender loving kiss
Pressed against her paper skin
She just wants to make it stop
The feeling lonely, sad and hated
She holds the blade up to eye level
I don’t know how long she waited
She presses hard against her skin
And lines of ink bleed from the pen
The blade, it rests there on her knee
On her arm she wrote
Heartless.Happiness is an emotion I was never meant to capture
Every beat produces another microscopic fracture
And my heart is a toy because it’s played with and abused
Ripped up and torn apart thought it’s never even used
Tiny pieces falling, falling all the same
Losing all the meaning that was tattooed in my veins
Each fragment is calling, calling me by name
Sending shivers through my spine as I fight to break the chains
Showing me the mirror when I don’t know who to blame
If Ever I Lost YouWhat weighs on your mind?
What's taking up your time?
You tell me not to worry and you swear you're really fine
Please open up to me
Tell me of your fears
You know I'll kiss the scars and I'll wipe away your tears
Don't keep it to yourself
You know you're not alone
I couldn't live my life without you ever coming home
I'd be so lost inside
I wouldn't recognize
The person that I see in the reflection of your eyes
Just tell me you're okay, and that you love me too
I don't know what I'd do
If ever I lost you…
The Moment Before.Some days I can’t even get out of bed
So I lay there in the shadows with the voices in my head
And they torment me with memories and things I had to choose
Somehow it ended up no matter what it is I lose
But I put on my best smile and nobody can tell
I’m not as happy as I seem, in fact, I’m doing well
I stare myself down in the mirror and thought I’d at least try
To make it through another day I tell another lie
That’s exactly what I’ll say if anybody asks
I’m alright; I’m okay with living life behind these masks
Nobody has to worry because I’m obviously faking
I’m permanently stuck in the moment before breaking
I’m a pile of emotions all cluttered on the floor
With so much weight attached I can’t hold it anymore
But I’ve learned to live a lie and nobody can tell
That I’m just about to fall apart, In fact, I’m doing well.
Ta Onira Tou HimonaΤα Όνειρα Του Χειμώνα
Τα Όνειρα Του Χειμώνα Πεθαίνουν Την Άνοιξη.
Αν Δεν Πεθάνουν, Σε Σκοτώνουν Το Καλοκαίρι.
Dream CriterionIf you can't fly on your dreams anymore,
I'm sorry, but don't worry,
you have simply grown up.
If you can't build a little empire on your dreams,
I'm totally sorry,
you are a dead man walking.
The Ex-Muse Dream The Ex-Muse Dream
- Come with me!
- Who are you?
- I am... I was your muse.
Do you see that girl?
- I don't know her, who is she?
- She's a little different in this world.
Do you know what she's doing?
- What is she doing? Is she a writer? A poet?
- In a way she is, but I told you, this world is different.
She is writing fantasy to your brain!
- If you mean she is her, I don't want this!
I'm in love with her!
- You know... free will...
- I don't want this! I love her!
Ex-muse? Writing fantasy to my brain?
What a dream!
It Wasn't MeI felt such a shame
that I found you lovely
when you were crying.
I know you can't forgive me,
but please at least remember
that It Wasn't Me
who made you cry.
On the other sideOn the other side,
people thinks I'm crazy,
but for the wrong reason.
These people also exist on your side,
you play with them,
probably you know,
but even if you do a mistake
...or if you don't...
your family will support you
and your choice,
one way or another.
On this side,
no one will support me
or my choice,
This makes it even worst...
They will blame you
...and you know... I love you.
This makes it even worst...
Hate and LoveI don't see you as a threat,
I don't hate myself,
I don't want to be you,
I Don't Hate You, Do You?
I don't see you as a threat,
I don't hate myself,
I don't want to be you,
I Don't Hate You, I Just Love You.
He came againHe came again last night,
after a long time.
His eyes were scanning around for her,
but she wasn't here.
He found another girl,
a girl it seems he liked a lot,
but in his eyes...
He treated her, I mean last night's girl,
almost like she was her,
He also didn't want
make this new girl,
or anyone else think,
that now he would love her,
He was a little typical,
though he needed company so much.
You are lucky, she doesn't love youThe door was open
and I listened what he said to him:
"It has come to my attention
that you love one of our girls.
My dear, you can't love these girls!
You should only come, pay, have fun
and this is it!
You have gone too far!!!!
You are lucky, she doesn't love you,
so you can go."
Parenting for Sex AddictsThe half-day.
We are not those folks that need an occasion to try. And that’s what they call it, too. Trying. As if the very idea of it is taxing. It’s not taxing and we are not those people.
No. We do not go by some magical calendar. Schedules aren’t really our thing in general. That’d be too organized. Too stuffy. Too… I don’t know… too planned. And we’re not the type of people whom plan.
If we could—plan—our lives would be much different. I think. It’s hard to say because this is how we’ve always been.
Our very togetherness is a result of impulse. I’m almost certain that the amount of time it took us to decide to move in together was significantly shorter than the amount of time it took us to remember each other’s names. We might have had our first conversation moments after that first… what I mean to say is we didn’t plan. Because planning would have been much t
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More