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Hurts Like HeavenOh. My.
God, it hurts like heaven;
Longing for all your affection,
Every bit of your attention,
You're a divine intervention.
In this life that's turned to hell.
I can't help it when I reminisce,
In moments that are just like this,
I remember when we had our kiss,
And now how much I really miss,
The times when we weren't separated,
Were the best memories that I've created,
To reunite is long awaited,
I feel like I'm incarcerated,
In my own personal hell.
I can't help it when I think of you...
I hope one day we'll say "I do."
But for now I have to struggle through,
Until the day I get to you...
It won't be long, love, I know we'll be fine...
So, darling, stay strong and keep your hand held in mine...
I'll never let you go and I'll always make amends...
I'll hold on to you forever, or until forever ends...
Part Mirage, Part NightmareI try to fight, the feelings I, hide inside
And the piosonus thoughts they bring
But darling, they're all that's left
They're all of you, that I've kept
You're still all I want, you're all I need
You're everything, that I believe
But when you're gone
My heart threatens to collapse
Because it's broken in two
And it's missing its other half
Please don't leave, please stay with me...
I can't breathe...
I'm on the edge of insanity...
Part mirage, part nightmare...
Please come back!
I just need to know you're there...
I know that I've, said I'm fine
That everything, is alright
But darling, I miss the feeling
Of your lips, gently caressing mine
I miss your touch, I miss your laugh
I miss so much, that I know that I can't have
'Cause when you're gone
My heart beats are few
It's broken in two
And so empty now without you
Where have you gone? Are you coming back?
I can't go on...
My vision has faded to black...
Part mirage, part nightmare...
Please come back!
HauntedI hear this haunted voice; it whispers lies
It keeps me up at night; it plays my fears
Allowing no sleep for these tired eyes
Telling me things that I don't want to hear
Am I really heartless or am I numb?
Is this simply darkness of am I blind?
Try to claw my way back into the sun
Leave a bloody trail for others to find
Following the sound of a lonely heart
Brought only false hope that I might be freed
I was led astray in the howling dark
The one way out is through the blood I bleed
I've given up hope of living in peace
I only wish now that my heart would cease
These FlamesI find, the flames attractive
As I watch this city burn away
So close, I almost had it
I lost it all when I turned away
My heart is full of broken dreams
Shattered hopes and memories
Everything that causes pain
Like a drop of acidic rain
The wind blows and it carries with it
Whispered words and the sorrows hidden
Sanctuary among the ashes
But the arson has one more match lit
And I find, the flames attractive
As I watch this city burn away
Was so close, I almost had it
I lost it all when you turned away
I regret every single moment
Without you with your hand in mine
I regret never even knowing
You loved me the entire time
And I find, these flames attractive
Burning brightly, shining in your eyes
I'm right here, and I finally have you
And from the ashes we'll rebuild our lives...
Savior.I have this darkness deep inside me,
It's what influenced this writing.
I can't control it, I can't fight it,
Barely know it, and can't hide it.
I'm just a mess with no ambition;
So much less than I envisioned.
How much more can I endure?
I don't know, I'm not too sure...
I'm not myself when I'm alone,
And yet I find I'm on my own.
I'm like a lock without a key,
There is no perfect fit for me!...
You're not alone.
Don't think like that.
Pick your head up.
I believe in you.
You can do it.
I love you...
Are you here to prove me wrong?
To make me see the brighter dawn?
With this darker side, this part of me,
How can you love someone like me?
I don't care, I'm glad you do...
Where would I be if it weren't for you?
You pulled me through the worst of times,
I never thought I'd call you mine...
Yes, I'm a mess, but this mess is forever yours.
Together we can unlock and open up these remaining doors.
And I'm not backing down as long as you're by my side...
Hold on to my hand and we'l
HurricaneI don't really know
How all of this came to be
When I already know
She can do better than me
I feel like she's the desert
And whenever I hold her hand
I realize that makes me
Nothing more than a grain of sand
I can't help but ask myself
How is it that she's with me?
I'm just a mess when I'm alone
And I'm fucking up constantly
In every way, shape, and form
Like the calm of the night
Or like the eye of a storm
(And if that storm were to break...)
I always have the thought
That if people were rain
l would be just a drop
And she'd be the hurricane...
Wonder.Do you fear your own death?
Is it hard to conceive?
Draw in your last breath, then-
Your last breath will leave.
Isn't it strange to think,
That there's a timer above your head?
A countdown you can't see,
That finishes when you're dead.
Don't you ever wonder,
What it'll be like when you're gone?
I bet the world will keep on spinning.
There will be another dawn.
But the harsh reality behind it-
We're all going to die.
There's no reason to try to fight it
Not even to question why.
It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,
Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...
I'm afraid of how I'll
'Goodbye' Isn't Always...You don't know my secret pain
The pain I hide from every day
Every smile fades away
Etched in every word I say
But to you I seem okay
Well, that's just on the surface
Nothing about me is perfect
It's safe to say that I'm worthless
I've got no plan nor a purpose
And I can't begin to explain how it feels to be ignored
By the ones you love, by the ones that you care for
It hurts more than you could ever imagine
And I'm not having this anymore
You burrow under my skin when you assume that I'm okay
That I've never had to deal with any sort of real pain
I've been through more than you could ever forget
This experience alone is solely my one regret
I don't know if you've noticed but I've had it up to here
There is just one more thing I want to make perfectly clear
This is not something I ever wanted do
But you're forcing my hand; it's something I have to
Just please, promise to remember my goodbye
Is more than just that, it's much more than what you knew
It's just a painful way for me to say
I'm FineI can't do this
I can't walk in smiling like everything is fine
Because its not
I can't put on a nice dress and act like I feel beautiful
Because I don't
I can't smile and laugh like I'm not dying
I don't want to walk in and see them
Her, in the place that I should be
Everyone having someone
A friend, a partner
Everyone but me
I can't just sit here
Crying my eyes out over this dress
Watching my anger hit the floor in shining, smaller teardrops
I can't hold it together
I can't do it anymore
ScreamingI won't cry
No matter how many nights I lay here screaming
I will not let a tear fall
I'll seal this bottle shut
Then I'll drink this one down...
Miscroscopic red marks until the aching goes away
Night after night
Smear away the gore
Shaking in relief
But whimpering in fear
Because slowly, they will become deeper
And his touch, it will grow colder
And you will find your self screaming
All alone in his house
Pounding on the bedroom door
While he's holding her and you keep screaming
But nobody can hear you
Because you are all alone
Because you cannot stop.
My MazeYou will never find your way to me,
Never learn what lies inside,
For the walls I build around me,
Are there so I can hide.
You press and prod with questions,
Listen for clues I let slip,
Try and piece me together,
From words that escape my lips.
Each direction that you travel,
And every angle you take,
Lead you around in circles,
My resolve your trying to break.
I drink to try and forget me,
You use it to push me some more,
But my mind remains clear and lucid,
You can't push through these walls.
My resistance begins to take its toll,
On your relentless desire to know,
Just who is the person inside me,
Your impatience now starting to show.
There are no more avenues left to navigate,
To break through and tear these walls apart,
Over time I have built them stronger,
This impossible maze around my heart.
my drugOh darling
You're like a drug to me
And you fill me with greed
Every time I try
To stay away from
The source of my undisclosed desires
But darling, you're my source of happiness
I keep trying to get clean
Sober and clear in my mind
Get away from you
But your melody keeps ringing
Your touch still lingers
My heart beats faster
And your words constantly repeat
Attractive, calling and pulling me back
My mind and heart in battle
A decision only I can make
But you keep infecting my consciousness
Stay away, come closer
Let me feel your skin again
Look up at me and hold me tight
I give in, I surrender just please, never leave
We don't make sense
We're impossible in every single way
But I still want you and you want me
You're my forbidden drug
WaitIt takes two to make it fall
And only one to end it all
It only takes one to cry
And one to give them a reason why
It takes a while to understand
That crying and dying go hand in hand
But they are two different things
One is pain and one is healing
The darkness of a single tear
Is always brought down crystal clear
And the shinning light of death
Can't be described in a single breath
The pride in love and the love in hate
Is just enough to make me wait
All alone and out of the light
Untill I can see hope in the night
My NoteI cry as I sit in the silence,
Alone in the lounge not watching TV,
The volume muted but screen aglow,
For I fear the silent darkness.
Thoughts of past and the present,
Flood every crevice of my splintered mind,
Pushing me to the precipice of madness,
Clasping to stop a fall from the edge.
Overwhelming sadness and hatred,
Despising of my own sorry existance,
That of a life of abuse and bullies,
Pathetically weak and wilting.
Incredulous of my own abilities,
And of the faith others portray in me,
Depressing feelings of abject failure,
From past, to present, to future.
Incapable of shedding emotion,
Relentlessly seeking a way to release,
Letting of blood through inflicted pain,
An aid to stop feeling.
Tuesdays BruisesSkin smeared with marks,
that never seem to go away.
Blood soaked sheets become
stained forever with memory.
Tears swell sorrowful eyes,
tracing lines on cold cheeks.
Broken bones halfway healed.
Lies left lingering in the air.
Another answer-less question,
asked after another attack.
sometimes mend my mind.
Dreams of passion, pleasure,
in place of pain.
Sadly I wake up.
The bruises are still there.
Just a MomentI hurt with a pain
Unknown to my tender soul.
I yearn for the day
That the earth doesn't seem so cold.
My heart breaks with the sound of a thousand drums.
Crashing to the ground
Can't you hear it,
As the crash and ring resounds?
I pray in earnest
That I not forget
The ones that I left behind.
Those who seemed so close, yet,
Could not stay by my side.
Can I stay with you now?
To spend all my days
And laugh until dawn joins our path.
Oh, if I could only count the ways
I feel and think in moments that pass by.
I'll beI'll be the shoulder you cry on
I'll be the hand you reach for when your lost
I'll be the one standing by your side
I'll be the one who will always be there
I'll be the one to wipe away the tears
I'll be the one who'll fight for you
I'll be the person who will sacrifice my life for yours
I'll be the one who'll come running
I'll be your savoir
I'll be everything you want
You just have to ask
If Ever I Lost YouWhat weighs on your mind?
What's taking up your time?
You tell me not to worry and you swear you're really fine
Please open up to me
Tell me of your fears
You know I'll kiss the scars and I'll wipe away your tears
Don't keep it to yourself
You know you're not alone
I couldn't live my life without you ever coming home
I'd be so lost inside
I wouldn't recognize
The person that I see in the reflection of your eyes
Just tell me you're okay, and that you love me too
I don't know what I'd do
If ever I lost you…
Leaving Southampton She was in the kitchen when he stumbled in noisily, tripping as he went past the shelves and catching the edge of the table to keep himself from falling.
Pretending not to hear the stream of curses that followed, she kept her eyes fixed on the dishes, letting her hand trail in the soapy water. There was a loud scraping of wood against grimy concrete as he drew a chair and collapsed into it. At this she looked up, and after a moment's hesitation, she said, unnecessarily, "You've been drinking."
He clutched his head and said nothing. He hadn't shaved in weeks and stank of sweat and alcohol; he looked much older than his eighteen years.
They sat in silence for a while. Then he announced, loudly, "Fuck."
She didn't bother to tell him off. She just waited. And jumped when he suddenly brought his fist down, hard, onto the table.
"Our lives here are s
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