Waking UpI wake up again in the middle of the nightCold sweat dripping I don't know if I'm alrightCause it's the millionth timeThat I've dreamt you were mineBut now I seeIt's only meWith no one elseI'm by myself...I can hear my heartbeat echo off these wallsAs I wander aimlessly through these desolate hallsI keep thinking that I'm hearing your desperate callBut that's just me pretending trying so hard not to fallI listen to the wind as it whispers by meBut the words that it speaks aren't registeringI listen to the rain as it pours to the groundI'm looking for you but you're nowhere aroundI really fucking hate being alon
Overdramatic"Overdramatic"Nothing's changedYou're still the samePlaying the guilty cardOnly gets you so farReal victims are a messThat wine on your pretty dressCan in no way compareTo the bombs dropped in the airLie in a hole by a bayUnder gunfire ablazedAnd then maybe you'll say"I am having better days."The dead weight that you carryThe problems you parryAre not as bad as it seemsGo back to bed and dreamYour soul would never lastIf you were given the gasAnd from what I can amassYour heart's as weak as glassBlurring color from the sceneOverdramatic you may beBut to others you annoyTheir ears with your ploys
ForeclosureWhere are they now?Iron tumbleweeds,emerald city slums,dirt in the sky.The child fell off his bike andskinned his knee. He cried whenI tried to help him up. Ants carriedhis blood away. We don't needthat kind of pride.A woman in Pasadena sold a sliceof toast with F.D.R.'s face on it.I thought it looked more like youstanding in the rain.We were asked to recreate the Gospels andyou suggested Michael Bay.Some things never change.Columbus found America,the same way Descartes found existence,the same way my brother found bourbonthe same way a horse finds religion.It was always there sojust be careful w
feelAn update to my previous journal. I allowed myself to fall in love with her. That is why this hurts so damn much. She is telling me that I am lashing out and hurting her because I am hurt. I do not mean to. I just...am sensitive, or as she says "fragile". I suppose that happens when your heart has be broken, betrayed and more over and over and over. And yet, I still blame myself! I want to be someone she could love, respect and long for...I do not know if I can be that...for anyone even. I just feel like utter dross, like a worthless piece of shit yet again...If you are reading this (you know who you are) I want to apologize for being...me. I am sorry.
The Hanwell AsylumSanctuary Gardens never offered the peace of mind it claimed. At one time the screams could be heard echoing down the halls as the electricity flashed and charges were forced into the bodies of people barely in control of their sensibilities. Now the place was even scarier with the blackened ivy crawling up cracked and decaying walls. The clouds abominably huddled together, their dark curves mocking the landscape, with a crack they burst open and the rain slow at first, fell, plummeted to the dry ground of the Hanwell asylum. The barred windows kept the demonic squealing of Isabella.Daniel, 34 years of age, had devoted his life to the Cat
happy endings are stories that haven't ended yet.i.Once upon a time, there was a girl who liked reading and writing and dying her hair bright colors. She had green eyes and a shy smile and every day she looked in the mirror and said, "You can do better."She loved purple the best and she would call her best friend late at night to remind her that she was loved. And her friend would say, "It's two in the goddamned morning."But she loved the girl because that's what friends are for.ii.The green-eyed girl told people to call her Alex. "My middle name's Alexandria," she explained. "I just like Alex a lot better."People would ask her why she never went by her first name, and she'd
The Green ArmchairShe found it strange how memories can creep up on a person, like the ones that swam around her old student flat and the green armchair they'd kept in the sitting-room. Some nights, when the house was coated in the type of silence that arrives once the darkness had persuaded even the most stubborn to go to bed, she would find herself leaning back against the familiar faded leather. Her fingertips traced circles in the ink stains that decorated the arms and she could close her eyes and hear the music and laughter as her boys sprawled themselves across the room.Danny was always last one to come in, relegated to the floor since the few seats th
Death An' FermentationThe jailhouse is hot an' overfull.Human-stink is somethin' awful;'Specially with so much hate afoot.The inmates are makin' wine in a toilet.Ebeneezer knows of few things as certain -As death an' fermentation. An' he supposes men will do,As they will do, when they are desperate;Still, he'll not be drinking from a toilet. A man of means, May not remain so fortunate;But, he'll not be made a dog.Self-respect is a habit hard forgetting. Ebeneezer knows of few things as certain -As death an' fermentation.He feels the hollow in his bones -An' knows he ain't much longer for this hell,Soon he's goin'
This MorningThe young man sat alone, as many of us do. He looked at his hands, now frail bones from the hard labor. He dragged his kneecaps- they were no longer knees, no- up to his skeleton chest. He rested his temple on the one, closing his eyes for a moment. They abruptly snapped open to find me studying him, his gaze meeting mine. He held it only for a second, and then turn his head away. I crawled towards him, shoving past lifeless bodies, feeling my way through the sealed cattle car toward the boy. I put a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned his head as fast as he dared towards me, restricted by cramped space around us. The sunrise shone through
Double DareDaring to stare into yourOnce blue eyesBlurring into dullnessBrave enough to shrink the gap between usNot love,A challengeThis is the wrong pathI'm sure,Yet I walk onAt the fork in the roadI choose greenteardrops that will never rainover an ocean of blueI'd apologize if I meant itBut the green suits me betterAnd I continue
Only Human: 3-2-12The hallway was silent. i drag the door behind mecringing at the merciless creakingas the gears turn and grindto a closeshattering the silent foundationsthe air of a dreamthe hope of returnany hopeat allsupporting the worldaround.It creates a senseof finalityof knowing you can nevergo backof how things have to go onand they willof how they have toneed tomustit reminds thatdreams will alwaysbe clung tobut not always livedand that were only humanIt creates a sense thatWe're only human.and a lifetime willneverbe enough for usalwayswaiting to live out all of ourdrea
Of LifeSpinning sphere of souls so ill,Of life no coward cares about,Or perhaps some folks never will,Yet there is tribulations to flout,Of a world where destruction is all.Taunting time of trials so fair,Of life no dotard dares to tread,Or someday we shall all care,How an earth there is but dread,Of a place where humiliation is the call.
ImaginationI am a poet, and so I shall writeWords made of pieces of rain and daylightI will write poems of pain and regretStories of torture, the strength to forgetI will write pieces of laughter and grinsPower and wisdom that pours from withinNovels of fictional things in my mindStatements of my complicated designSome will be puzzled and some will shed tearsMy words will either be silent or clearThough, in the end, it's not their creation..Welcome to my own imagination
Waiting for youNo matter what may come,Even if the sun is gone,And the stars are dimmed by the shadows....My heart is still aching,While the people fading,But no matter what, I'll be there...Waiting patiently,Gripping onto that hope,Holding my breathe,Until you care....No matter what what may come,Even if the storms are tough,The words they burn,I'll hold my head high for you!Even if you never come,I'll be here forever,Holding onto that small strand of hope...Clutching tightly onto,My throbbing chest,I'll be here...Waiting for you~
Come Back HomeIt had all happened so suddenly. One moment I was lying comfortably in bed, blissfully dreaming and awaiting a new day, and the next I was rushing towards the exit of a burning building with only the warning from the first plumes of smoke reaching my nose as a head start. It was just me and my daughter in the house. At eight years old I was pretty sure she knew what to do in the instance of a fire, but that didn't stop me from panicking. With the ever thickening smoke beginning to starve me of oxygen, I sprinted down the corridor and checked the room that belonged to her just in case. No-one was inside. I scanned the room again, taking in the
Star Light, Star Bright...Star light, star bright, if I make a wish right nowWill it come true tonight?If you don't mind, if it's alright, I don't want to ask for muchJust the feeling of her touch…But if you could, only if you would, bring her here to meIt'd be better company than this decorated treeThat's only drowning out the misery of being all aloneStar light, star bright, if I make a wish right nowWill you hear my whispered cry?If you don't mind, if it's alright, it's in no way a demandI just want to hold her hand…But if you could, only if you would, place me by her sideUnderneath your watchful gaze for the Christmas holidaysI don't need
If Ever I Lost YouWhat weighs on your mind? What's taking up your time?You tell me not to worry and you swear you're really finePlease open up to meTell me of your fearsYou know I'll kiss the scars and I'll wipe away your tearsDon't keep it to yourselfYou know you're not aloneI couldn't live my life without you ever coming homeI'd be so lost insideI wouldn't recognizeThe person that I see in the reflection of your eyesJust tell me you're okay, and that you love me tooI don't know what I'd doIf ever I lost you…
'Goodbye' Isn't Always...You don't know my secret painThe pain I hide from every dayEvery smile fades awayEtched in every word I sayBut to you I seem okayWell, that's just on the surfaceNothing about me is perfectIt's safe to say that I'm worthlessI've got no plan nor a purposeAnd I can't begin to explain how it feels to be ignoredBy the ones you love, by the ones that you care forIt hurts more than you could ever imagineAnd I'm not having this anymoreYou burrow under my skin when you assume that I'm okayThat I've never had to deal with any sort of real painI've been through more than you could ever forgetThis experience alone is solel
Deafening Voices...Why does every single day Seem to stay the sameShade of lifeless greyCan nothing ease the pain?When I see your faceMy heart begins to raceI long for your embraceI'd kill for just a taste(Of your sweet kiss)But when I look aroundYou're nowhere to be foundI hear the maddening thoughtsAs they begin to sound Off as[Chorus]Deafening voicesInside of my headWhispering wordsThat are best left unsaidDestructive emotionsLocked inside my mindThey chip me awayJust a little at a time[End Chorus]There have always beenThings I've held insideThat I wish I could confessOr just get off of my mindWhen I he
I feel a connection to the song - Its amazing