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Submitted on
December 8, 2011
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I can't tell my

Tears from the rain
The hurt from the pain
My life from this game
It's all just the same

And it hurts me so badly
That you're so mad at me
I can't stop me from breaking
My hands are still shaking

Knees are so weak
I can't stay on my feet
So I fall to the ground
And I hope to be found

It's this feeling inside me
That I've never missed
It corrodes and divides me
Puts scars on my wrist

It controls and divides me
Fuels the fire inside me
Destroys all I make
Creates all my hate

I'm not that one in a million
The diamond in the rough
I'm just one more person
Who's finally had enough

Of hiding from hurt
And dealing with pain
But nobody knows
Cause I cry in the rain
A re-write of my more recent deviation "So Nobody Can Tell" [link]
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:iconkurlykrazykat:
KurlyKrazyKat Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so beautiful...and so true...I love your poems so much...especially since mine all basically stink...yours though...they leave me speechless every time...
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:iconxxxcrystalwolfxxx:
xXxCrystalWolfxXx Dec 9, 2011  Student Artist
This is breath taking! Your poems are... making me speechless, because I love how you put emotions into them! The rhyming is perfect, because It still carries the topic! I love your poems.. :3
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:iconinvoking:
Invoking Dec 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much <3 for everything. You're support really means a lot.
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:iconxxxcrystalwolfxxx:
xXxCrystalWolfxXx Dec 9, 2011  Student Artist
You're welcome! :)
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:iconscathing-sanity:
scathing-sanity Dec 9, 2011  Student Photographer
I could totally see this as a song. It moves like one. You did a great job with the wording and rhythm. :)
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:iconinvoking:
Invoking Dec 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It is my dream to turn my poems into songs..
Thank you so much <3
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:iconscathing-sanity:
scathing-sanity Dec 9, 2011  Student Photographer
Np. :)
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:icontamiea:
tamiea Dec 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
lol I knew that I know this one. I think I like better old version. But this one is great too. :)
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:iconshadesofrage:
ShadesOfRage Dec 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
i like this. didn't read the old one. but i do like this one..
Reply
:iconinvoking:
Invoking Dec 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much <3 doesn't matter if you read the old one or not. I just wanted to see if I could take the critique I got on it and make it better using that criticism. Just gotta wait for the critic now..
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