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Overcast.Overcast is beautiful
The sky, a solid slate of gray
Untouched but imperfect
With rain drizzling down all day
I love to take walks when the weather gets like this
It contains a certain calm that the sun will often miss
But even as I'm walking
Dark thoughts will give me trouble
I pause and look down at my own face
Reflected in the puddle
The contours are correct, that is my face, those are my eyes
But it's the soul behind them I don't recognize
And a tear streaks down my cheek
As a smile parts my lips
Even on a day like this
When there's no reason to hide
I still see
A complete stranger inside.
A Click Away.If you're feeling lonely
Or if you're just having a bad day
I'm here for you to talk to
I'm just a click away.
Who cares where all the time goes
As long as it's well spent?
I can be your punching bag
I can listen while you vent.
If you want advice
I can give you my two cents
I can help you through the hard times
When you're back is to the fence
There's nothing like a friend
Who won't judge you by your scars
Emotional or physical
They don't tell me who you are
Only what you've been through
So if you're feeling down
Or any other way
I'm here for you to talk to, and
I'm just a click away.
The Moment Before.Some days I can’t even get out of bed
So I lay there in the shadows with the voices in my head
And they torment me with memories and things I had to choose
Somehow it ended up no matter what it is I lose
But I put on my best smile and nobody can tell
I’m not as happy as I seem, in fact, I’m doing well
I stare myself down in the mirror and thought I’d at least try
To make it through another day I tell another lie
That’s exactly what I’ll say if anybody asks
I’m alright; I’m okay with living life behind these masks
Nobody has to worry because I’m obviously faking
I’m permanently stuck in the moment before breaking
I’m a pile of emotions all cluttered on the floor
With so much weight attached I can’t hold it anymore
But I’ve learned to live a lie and nobody can tell
That I’m just about to fall apart, In fact, I’m doing well.
My Mind Is A Graveyard And My Body Is A Scar.There’s constantly something wrong with me
I can’t look in the mirror for fear I’ll see
Another part of me that I can’t let be
I want to cut it out of my soul
And just live with the gaping hole
Take control and choose to lose
The part of my heart where the insides bruised
I didn’t fall; I was caught by the lonely, crushing darkness
Of this I’m sure; it was there more than you ever were
I don’t know why the love I need
Is flowing in the blood I bleed
Yes, I’m confused and, yes, I’m a mess
Frustrations magnified by stress
I don’t know why I pushed so far
New cuts cover where the old ones are
My scars are scarred, my heart’s in shards
I’m breaking down like a house of cards
I fell already blind into decimating blackness
And used what I could find of my heart as target practice
Heartless.Happiness is an emotion I was never meant to capture
Every beat produces another microscopic fracture
And my heart is a toy because it’s played with and abused
Ripped up and torn apart thought it’s never even used
Tiny pieces falling, falling all the same
Losing all the meaning that was tattooed in my veins
Each fragment is calling, calling me by name
Sending shivers through my spine as I fight to break the chains
Showing me the mirror when I don’t know who to blame
1 amI won’t ask forgiveness
I hoped you would forget about the things I said
I promise it was never you…
And I won’t see you fall when all you have to do
Is let me go and put these memories to rest
I don’t care at all, but the tears, they do
Where they fall is where I lose another piece of you
I know that the sinless
Don’t understand what it’s like to regret; I’m in over my head
I kept it all away from you…
Let me go; I’ve been failing you
These memories will fade away
And I’ll disappear too
I don’t care at all, but the scars, they do
I keep secrets better than promises to you
Enough.No you're not, you're just selfish.
You think you're the only one that's stressed?
You're so useless, downright helpless.
Stop acting like you're so depressed.
That's enough. You've made your point.
But what if we're two sides of the same coin?
Only, you've rejected us and pretend we aren't there
Because we have trouble coping; if only you would care
For the timeline that our wrists portray
And the stories that our scars could tell
Have you nothing else to say?
Think you know depression well?
It's chemically imbalanced
We see darkness where there's light
When waking up's a challenge
And nothing is alright.
We seek comfort
We don't need that extra push
We don't want to be forced open
We've already hit the ground.
And it left us hurt and broken.
Frustration.When I’m tired of living because all I do is fight
And cry myself to sleep in the late hours of night
When the thought of giving in is so infinitely sweeter
And pain will always have a way because pain’s a lying cheater
When my only real friend is the pillow I hold tight
And it’s drenched in so many tears I could literally drown
When the ceiling turns to shadow and devours all the light
And I try to force a smile but it comes out a crooked frown
When I gasp for every breath like it’ll make some sort of difference
And my sight is swallowed whole by the darkness in the distance
When the path I chose to walk becomes the path of most resistance
And I struggle with each step just to establish my existence
When the aching doesn’t go away, but it’s all I hold onto
And there’s an impenetrable wall that I plan on breaking through
What I Can't EraseLike the gnarled roots of an old decaying tree
I’m twisted and confused, tired of being me
On the surface I am strong, abrasively calm, and ready
But underneath it all I’m weak, wrong, and unsteady
I shudder at the wind; tell tale of death’s bringer
I feel the chill upon my spine; forever it seems to linger
Now is not the time for cleansing wounds of past battles
Worse is lurking just beyond the howling darkness of the shadows
There isn't much that I can do against an army borne of fear
Every nightmare, all my demons, they’re all assembled here
They’re everything that I’m ashamed to say is part of me
The ugly truth behind my eyes no one should ever see
And if I held my ground would it be too much to face?
Or should I just ignore what I know I can’t erase?
That Gay Boy Sitting Next To YouLook at the gay boy sitting next to you,
the one who you kick, physically torture and verbally abuse.
Look at his eyes that were once vibrant with life,
and keep in mind that you and your friend's were the one who stole his light.
You called him a sin and condemned him to hell,
every day he walked through the school doors, he was greeted with your intolerant yells.
With your injustice , you treated him as terribly as you pleased,
and when you were through with your torment, you treated him like some sort of disease.
Was religion your actual excuse to act like an ass,
or was there something that you refused to see past?
Because that gay boy who sits next you daily in class,
is the one who knows your present, future and past.
He knows where bullies come from, so don't hide fully behind Christianity.
Because when you go home, you yourself are showered with profanities.
The same fist you used to beat the blue eyed boy,
is the same fist that your father uses to wring around your neck
i am worth it.and if this feeling
only lasts for tonight,
i'll swallow the night;
rearrange the stars
to map the
letters of my name
because i am worth
every second it takes
to let the world know
Anything You WantI could write you a sonnet
But, well, I’m no poet.
Fourteen lines of words,
That only mean as much
As you believe they do
My love for you.
I could sing you a song,
But, no, that’s all wrong.
Someone else’s words,
Or even my own,
How you make
I could draw you a portrait,
But, no, wait,
Art isn’t my forte.
No pencil could show
Your eyes glow.
I could take you away,
But, no, we could just lay,
Here for forever.
And no vista
Could ever compare
I could give you my heart,
But, no, let’s not start
On how bad a gift
That would be.
Let me just say,
My dear, today,
I love you, just how you are.
An Actual HomophobeAn actual phobia is a fear,
not a hate.
So hopefully this story will illustrate,
the difference between hate, so than you will know,
what it truly means to be a “homophobe”
I'll use an example that doesn't relate,
my mother was traumatized at the tender age of eight,
when she watched a movie adorned with spiders,
now today she cannot stand to have one beside her.
Now back to the point, so we don't lose track.
I'll speak of boy who was the center of an irrational attack.
Where the act that was committed went unreported,
because to tell of what happened meant his pride would be aborted.
The reasoning is irrational, and some may say stupid,
but ever since that day, the boy grew putrid
towards men who advanced onto other men,
because he could never forget what happened when,
he was forced to commit to a brutal act,
and from that very day he still bares the scars on his back.
A feeble example, but it holds some truth,
as I would not have utilized it if it were fully untrue.
I Found God In the AtheistI found God in the Atheist, whilst I found Satan in the Christian.
However, I must admit, that defacing the fraud was my intention.
The experiment began when I attended my church,
beside me on the pew, the woman of God perched.
We sang, we listened, and we prayed together,
our performance as flawless as a pure white feather.
However, when it was time to go, we passed a homeless boy,
who stood barefoot, and cold in the white snow.
This woman of God was rich you see,
and had much more money than a poor Christian like me,
yet I spared my coat, and my old lunch money,
and I looked towards the woman to supply change to fill the cold child's tummy.
Change she had not, and she left with a feral laugh,
“He'll just use it for drugs” claimed the pompous ass.
Long story short, the poor boy had died,
yet no drugs filled his body, rather maggots and flies.
She attended church next Sunday, that treacherous bitch,
and suddenly her praying sounded like a hex from a witch.
Our church was a
When I Grow UpAge Ten:
I'll be a Wizard when I grow up! My magic used for Good.
I'll turn lead to gold and brew True Love, in my cabin in the wood.
I'll be a Jedi when I grow up! The force flows through my veins.
And with my saber I'll ensure that the Dark side never reigns.
I'll be a Knight when I grow up! Raise the crest on high!
Feasting in the royal halls, though the Battle's on the nigh!
I'll be a Karate-Master when I grow up! My honour proud and great.
When rival dojos challenge me, I will bravely face my fate.
I'll be a Rock Star when I grow up! My fans will jump and dance!
I'll shred some catchy licks and riffs as I wear my shiny pants!
I'll be a Cop when I grow up! No punks will give me lip!
My baton will be a-twirling, and I'll wear a pistol on my hip!
I'll be a Scientist when I grow up! I'll be Master of the atom.
I'll discover brand new elements as I dig deep wit
We Are Selfish PeopleWe live in a selfish world,
and we are incredibly selfish people.
Fighting about rich women's and men's rights,
we neglect the starving children, and disregard their rights.
Our world is gassing itself daily,
submerged in flames and burning,
like a gruesome Holocaust that repeats itself
Religion has done more damage, than it has good.
We fight in the name of one God,
but the victor remains unclear.
Fat and thin, beautiful and ugly,
all stem from one terrible, cruel word.
we care about our looks, we care about how society sees us
We care about how we see us.
We would rather leave the house practically naked,
and proclaim it's our right,
then donate a dollar to the poor, who are forced to starve at night.
Or fight for inequality, that's hardly there,
cry misandry and misogyny into the air.
Our priorities are screwed, and our lives are damned,
we're are selfish people, we women and men.
And that cure for diseases, for us it can wait,
we're too busy complaining
desolatei want to write something bitter,
sour and acidic, like the first
shudder after a taste of lemon;
i want to write of how you
kill me with every breath,
every kiss, every sporadic, treasured touch
i want to spill words onto the page
like ink out of a broken bottle,
i want to stab and wound with the fragments;
sear, scratch, pierce
but when i bring you to my mind,
i cannot conjure anger,
nor passion; only a cloud of sadness
i am unable to shake.
there are no nightmares lingering here;
only long forgotten dreams.
Inside My CageTilt your head back, look at the stars twinkle,
Never look at me, gaze at the nightly angel.
I'll strip away my repulsive façade,
Five, four, three, two....
Close your eyes tight, I'll stab you with my striking vile.
Egocentric, muffled with paranoia;
Despicable, detached from decency.
I'm the void, the space between you and your dreams;
I'll drag you down, witness the vivid blaze of my torture,
I'll hallucinate you, seduce and fabricate.
So get lost, get away, run and never look back,
'Cause I'm a ticking time bomb, I'll cripple you broken;
Go away, let me stay, your charming illusion,
I'll be your masked angel, caged in my ugly desires.
-Inside My Cage
About Her.In the middle of a long forgotten field
Made beautiful by her presence
She sits under the willow
Counting hour after hour
As she waits for the sun to sink under the horizon
A pen whisks it's way across the page
Etching words she cannot verbalize
Filling up the empty spaces in her heart
Explaining the distance in her eyes
Velvet night engulfs her world
A notebook, a pen, and a
She lays her companions down beside her
And turns her tearful gaze up to the sky
Thinking, "Night's like this are worth the pain.
The stars don't know how much joy they bring."
Little did she know
They were thinking
The same thing.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More