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About Literature / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester VokiMale/United States Group :iconopen-mic-poetry: Open-Mic-Poetry
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Here is my heart in the form of words. Feel free to explore it.
Copyright Statement 1 by Sophibelle

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August 12th, 2012

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 21, 2014, 11:28 AM

The following is an excerpt of an entry I wrote dated August 12th, 2012

"I repress a lot of things that could destroy me. There's a complacent pool of angry emotions stirring inside me, but I keep them at bay with forced laughter and faked smiles. I've told myself time and time again that the smiles are real and the laughter is genuine and that I am really happy, but... I think I've only entered a new level of either denial or depression. I've lived so long with a mask on that I've nearly forgotten completely the person behind it. I don't know who I once was. I don't even know who I am now. I'm not the same, but I feel no different.

I have difficulty expressing myself verbally. Writing is the only way I know how to placate the negative emotions that gnaw at me day and night. The only problem is that I don't know who to show the writing to, and I'm too scared to find out. What if they just think I'm messed up and can't be helped? What if they don't want to be burdened with my pitiful self? It'd be wrong of me to unwittingly force somebody into caring for me by imposing my problems, my fears, insecurities, my demons, onto them. That would only be pity from them. Not caring. And I just want to scream because that's all I want. But to seek it out is to beg. I must wait for somebody to notice me. To notice the pain. The suffering. The scars.

Things would've been much different had I not used the razors edge to such a nefarious end. But that's just it; things aren't different. They're the same as they always were, and how they always were meant to be.

Whether I can accept it or not, that's the big question."

Things change.


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature

She is the absolute most important person to me...




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DimitrisBroken Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014
Thanks for the fav.
Reham-Y Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you for the fav :D i really appreciate it 
toasterbabyyy Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama, sir. c":
(1 Reply)
Fameisdead Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for joining my group!!! :)
(1 Reply)
xxdraxx Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Student Artist

Just wanted to thank you for the fave!

Also, since I'm currently focusing on music, I was wondering if you'd be interested in supporting me in that endeavor of mine?

If you are, I can link you to where you can find that stuff!
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